Stop the drama-go-round, I want to get off

I am so tired of all the drama in my life. It seems to have all started with Mr. Nascar getting arrested nearly 7 months ago. Yowza, I can hardly believe he’s been gone so long. Actually I think he’s been gone longer than we actually were together.

The latest drama comes courtesy of TheEx. I was sitting at work last week when my cell phone rang, I saw that it was him but as I was at work I didn’t answer it. He left me a message asking about Bert© and wanting to know if I had filed my taxes yet. My stomach sank when I listened to the voicemail. I wondered if he had claimed her as well as a dependant andwe were about to become embroiled in some kind of IRS nightmare.  I had already filed my taxes and received my return at the beginning of the month (Thank God!) so I wasn’t sure what to expect.

It turns out that he wants to take me back to court for the 2nd time in less than 12 months. He hasn’t worked since November and says that things in South Dakota just aren’t getting any better for him or Wifey#2. He was laid off from his job as an equipment operator for the mine when the weather started turning bad. He refused to apply for unemployment because “by the time they take 1/2 the check and send it to you I’d only be getting about $100 a week and it wouldn’t be worth it”, andhas yet to find a job. I guess his standards for work are too high, or after all the years of being the breadwinner while we were married he has decided he likes the idea of being able to stay home while Wifey#2 supports him. I don’t know if you all recall, but October of 2007 she was having to do the same thing back when they were just dating and living together in Minnesota.

I digress though. I asked him if he had suddenly turned deaf, because I recall quite clearly the judge saying “Mr. TheEx, the state of Tennessee expects that when you voluntarily terminate your position with a company you would seek employment elsewhere making the same or better salary.” He seems to think that they do not understand the seriousness of his position and that he has tried to find a decent job. So, as I am bound by the terms of our divorce to supply either my W2 or my tax return for the previous year, I provided him with that information only to know that it will be used against me in the near future.

Then he dropped the real bomb. “So uhh have you talked to my mom lately?” I explained that we had been playing phone tag back and forth, but so far had not connected for a real conversation. “Oh, so I guess you don’t know then. Well, uhh, Wifey#2 is pregnant”

This is one of those moments in my life that is exactly like those that they play on TV sitcoms. You know the one where the person on the receiving end of the news has their head explode or they envision themselves beating the other person with a book, hammer…insert blunt object of choice. Just as that lovely vision finishes, you fade back to reality with the person actually just going “Oh no, I hadn’t heard that. How lovely. When is the baby due?”

Is that kind of preternatural calm a sign that I might be psychopathic? I really wanted to scream at the top of my lungs “Great F’ing job you A-hole. You can’t take care of the 1 child you already have and here you’re going to procreate again. MORON!” Perhaps I’m making more of this than I should, because really it doesn’t affect me other than I’m still not getting child support and I think that if he does have other children to support it will ultimately reduce his financial responsibility to Bert©. I guess I’m just tired of always being the responsible one. It obviously doesn’t pay to be responsible cause I sure as heck am struggling to make ends meet.

What kind of person does it make me, to have at one point in my life cared enough about this man to marry him and have a child with him? I must have some incredibly defective judgement or some sort of inherent character flaw. I must have please take advantage of mewritten across my forehead. All of this, everything that he has said and done since we separated has really made me question myself and whether or not I’m a good person. Maybe the common denominator in all of this is ME. I’m scared to death now that all of this stuff with Mr. Nascar is just going to be the same type of thing. He’s in prison, I’m supporting him…and how the hell do I know he doesn’t have 2 or 3 other girls he calls/writes/visits with?

I’m angry that Bert© will grow up with a sibling out there someone, a little brother or sister that she probably wont ever get to know. I’m sure that little person will grow up seeing pictures of my little girl in their house and wondering how it all fits together. I’m scared that now Bert© will be even more of an after thought. I’m totally disgusted that he could do this, and even more so with Wifey#2. Is she really that blind? Or is she naive enough to think that one day she wont be walking the same road I am?

I’m truly disgusted with myself because, I should be grateful and thankful that out of my marriage came this beautiful, wonderful little girl that is the light of my life, and yet I find myself bitter and angry because of the way she is being treated. I wish I had the guts to petition the courts to take away his rights to her. I wish…well I wish a lot of things and none of them are very nice.

I want Bert© to have a sibling bond like I had growing up with my little sister. But I don’t want it bad enough to uproot my baby and my life here to follow around after TheEx like some crazed groupie.

I guess time will tell. Maybe baby#2 will teach TheEx to grow up and actually follow through on his responsibilities. But then again, maybe it wont.

I have a date with a judge.

It’s been awhile since I blogged about my ex-husband. Probably because he’s been behaving himself. Child support has been coming regularly, and he basically keeps to himself. He doesn’t ever talk to Bert© unless she initiates contact first. How sad is that? Really, it’s all been quite on that front…but of course, all good things must come to an end at some point.

One afternoon when Bert© had talked to her father, I asked if I could speak with him. I had some general, end of school updates to give him and to ask him to email me some information. Over the course of the conversation, I enquired about his brother, and was surprised to learn that my ex-brother-in-law Gordon was getting remarried. TheEx gave me what details he happened to have, and commented that he wouldn’t be able to make it out there for the nuptials.

To say I was surprised was a bit of an understatement. I remember when Gordon and his first wife got divorced, she had cheated on him with a doctor in the practice where she worked as a medical assistant. It was a very bitter divorce and Gordon had expressed to TheEx that he was pretty much done with women in any serious way. I was very certain that Gordon was going to be a confirmed bachelor. I guess nothing is ever really set in stone, and honestly I am very happy for him as I hear that El, his new wife is a very lovely person and Gordon has become quite domesticated.

In speaking with TheEx’s mother a few days later, I asked if she was planning on attending the wedding and would she please give the couple my best regards. She was very quiet for a moment, and I felt my heart sink. I thought perhaps I had just spilled some very serious beans and was about to cause a rift in the family. She said that she was very surprised at both her son’s. She would be attending both Gordon’s & TheEx’s weddings this year.

WOAH! Rewind here.

“Oh,” I said. “I didn’t realize that he was getting married again. I knew they were living together.” TheEx’s mom apologized for leaking the news, she had assumed that he had told me. I kind of laughed then, and said “Wow. They’ve been together less than a year. I guess he really didn’t learn a thing by being married to me.”

I’m not really sure how I feel about that. I’m apprehensive about what this woman feels will be her place in Bert©’s life. When I mentioned it to Bert©, all she seemed worried about was if she was going to have wicked step-sisters or not…thank you Disney! I guess if I really, truly am honest with myself, I’m jealous of him. He has been able to completely shirk his responsibilities, do whatever he wants, go wherever he wants, and not have to give one thought about Bert©. I cannot just up and travel somewhere. I cannot change jobs. I have to worry about having health insurance for her, making sure that she has good daycare, etc. I cannot just up and move to another state as I have to consider uprooting Bert© from my mother whom she is very close to. I’m jealous that he found it so easy to find someone else, while I struggled with several unsuccessful dates, and then worried endlessly about whether or not to allow Bert© to meet Mr.Nascar. I continue to worry about the amount of time they spend together, not because I suspect anything inappropriate, but because I worry about what happens the day he isn’t around all the time anymore.

So there you have it. The green eyed monster has taken control of me. I’m also a little angry with him as well, for passing off his responsibilities with Bert© to me. I’m also a little perplexed as to why this new woman would even want to marry him? What is attractive about a man she spent nearly 6 months supporting when he couldn’t find work, who doesn’t take care of responsibilities that he has prior to their relationship? What makes her think that he’s not going to do the exact same thing to her 2, 4, or even 10 years down the road. I suppose it really isn’t something I should worry about as there is no accounting for some people’s taste.

That’s the first part of the story. The second part is where at 9am this Friday I have to be in court with said idiot as he’s petitioning to reduce the amount of child support he’s paying. I’m almost certain that will be granted to him, as he doesn’t make as much money as he did when we were together, but it sucks no matter which way you look at it. He also spent about 3-4 months not working when he first moved to be with his fiancée in Minnesota. I don’t have an attorney, and was not advised to get one. The Department of Human Services, which is handling my child support case just sent me notification that I need to attend the hearing. Thankfully MyCompany™ has been very understanding and has allowed me to take that day off, with pay, to get this sorted. I really feel deep down that this isn’t going to go in my favor, but would appreciate any and all prayers you’re willing to send.

On that same day, my father & step-mother (not evil) will be travelling in from Memphis to visit. Normally they reside in Toronto, Ontario, but my dad has some sort of conference next week in Memphis and has decided to use the opportunity of being in the same state as me, to travel out for a visit. When I mentioned to TheEx that he wouldn’t get as much time with Bert© as he thought he would, he flipped his lid. He was yelling at me that he was travelling all this way (from South Dakota to Tennessee) to see her and that what I was doing wasn’t fair. My favorite line from that conversation was where he proceeded to tell me “I’m her father, I have rights too.” It really, really took me a lot to bite my tongue and not scream at him like a wild banshee “The only F’ING reason you’re coming to see her is to take me to court to reduce the amount of support you pay me to care for her. If you really are her father, try acting like it sometime!” Instead I behaved myself and told him I’d speak with my dad and see what he could do about taking his sweet time getting here from Memphis.

I broke the news to Bert© that TheEx is getting remarried, and that she would be getting a step-mother. I guess TheEx is bringing the fiancée with him, so she will have a chance to meet Bert© before the wedding. I’m not sure how much Bert© understands, or if it makes any sense to her. She’s just happy to know that in 4 more sleeps she’ll get to see her daddy again for the first time in nearly a year. Bert© will not be attending the wedding, as the day TheEx gets remarried, we will be flying back to my hometown in Canada to spend some much needed time with my younger sister and the rest of my family.

I guess this will end up being a very busy weekend for me. Not only do I have a court appearance, but I’ll be spending some quality time with my dad on Saturday, and I’m planning on introducing Mr.Nascar to dad & step-mom. I think he’s going to do brunch with us on Sunday before they leave to head back to Memphis.

Keep your fingers crossed for me that I even survive this weekend!

I felt a little tingle.

I woke up Monday morning grumpy and still groggy. As I sat up in bed, I rubbed my hand over my face. I felt a familiar little tingle in my lips. I jumped out of bed and raced to the mirror in the bathroom. It only confirmed what I had already suspected, cold sores!! Grrr!I have been afflicted with cold sores for as long as I can remember. My mother has them, but my brother, Steve does not. I have pictures of myself throughout my school years with a big old ugly cold sore on my lip. I hated them when I was younger, it was something else for the other kids to make fun of me for. Life was rough when I was a young’n.

I’m still in the early stages of an outbreak. The sores still look like little blisters, they’ve not broken open yet. Thankfully as the days go on, they are less painful. Unfortunately, Hailey happened to brush against my mouth with her hand yesterday, and I was nearly in tears. This outbreak has been worse than any other I ever remember. Normally I break out with one sore, maybe two. Currently, I probably have 7 or 8 sores clustered on my top lip, and 3 smaller ones on my bottom lip. I feel like a leper. Everyone at work commented on them. One of the girls actually asked me if I had had collagen injections. My lips are so swollen, they remind me of Angelina Jolie’s lips.

My boss wandered by yesterday, and stopped for a double take. “What’s up with that?” he asked as he pointed towards his own lips. “It looks painful” I smiled ruefully. “Painful really doesn’t even begin to describe it.” “You know, they say those are brought on by stress.” He stated. “Well I guess we can tell how stressed out I’ve been lately!” Honestly, it’s true. I have been incredibly stressed lately. It’s not been work so much as it’s been Mike, Jeff, and the holidays. Possibly even in that order!

Let’s start with Mike. When we last left Mike, he was moving to BFE Minnesota to be with his wonderful new girlfriend. He had finally, with much pestering, provided me his new address. I needed to send him a dental bill for Hailey, and I wanted to make sure that I updated the state on where he is living. Per our divorce agreement, I am to provide Hailey with health insurance. Even though Mike had better insurance than I did, this decision was made because when he first left TN and arrived in CA, Mike quit his job and didn’t tell me. Hailey and I went 30 days unknowingly without health care. I figured that this would ultimately be a pattern with him, and sadly, I was right. Mike has had 5 different jobs in the 2 years since he walked out on me. Know how many I have had? One. I don’t think I’ve even had 5 jobs in my entire work history.

Anyway, Mike gave me his address and I shipped off the dental bill. Last Friday, I received a final notice in the mail from the dentists office. I was furious, and called to let him know. He had nothing much to say, didn’t seem to care, wouldn’t contact the dentist to let them know that he couldn’t pay. Lord, even just recounting it now makes me upset. If he was here in front of me, I’d kick him in the damn balls and hope I did enough damage so he’s permanently unable to have more children! I wonder if perhaps I need some therapy about this?? It’s not that I’m upset that he left me, hell I’ve had a pretty good time with just Hailey and me. I’ve met some wonderful friends, tolerate love my job, and have even had a few romantic relationships. I just get so furious about Mike’s complete lack of regard for our daughter.

I was good, though. I didn’t yell at him, but I was so frustrated by the end that I was almost in tears. Apparently Mike has been living in MN for a month now, and still doesn’t have a job. I was stunned by that news! In the whole time that we were married, Mike always had a job within 2-3 days of the last one. He’s a truck driver, for goodness sake. There are openings everywhere for that type of job. I guess it’s that he wants a local position, so he can be closer to the honeypot at the end of the day. I asked him to please take care of the bill, and then let him talk to Hailey.

I wasn’t sure what to do. It’s been almost 2 months since my last child support check. August 24th I believe, was the last deposit. I have Christmas coming up, my car insurance is due, and honestly I am spread too thin financially. It has been in the back of my mind that I really could use a second job, but what would I do with Hailey? My mother doesn’t live close enough to watch her, and if I had to pay evening daycare costs it would almost defeat the purpose of my working another job.

Mike’s mother called later that weekend to give me belated birthday wishes. I’ve known the woman almost 8 years now, and she has never remembered my birthday on time. It bothers me, as I feel that it’s disrespectful to me. I’m a good ex-daughter-in-law though, and I just smile and tell her thank you. She asked me what I would like for my birthday.

“Well, to be honest…I have this dental bill here of Hailey’s. It’s $40 and it’s supposed to be Mike’s responsibility, but he can’t or wont pay it. Every spare bit of money I have right now is going toward my car insurance, due in December. Do you think you could send me the money for the bill?”

I hated to ask her. It really made me feel very small that I could not provide for my daughter and needed to ask for help. I will give Kay some credit though, as she said “Sure honey, I’ll get that out to you right away.” We chatted a little bit more, and Kay told me she was surprised at Mike’s lack of job as well. Kay is quite religious, and isn’t afraid to show it. She said that perhaps the next time she talked with Mike, if he still didn’t have a job, she would casually mention that perhaps his place wasn’t in MN.

I have found a forum online that Mike is registered to. I occasionally go there to get updates on him, as I wouldn’t put it past him to withhold information from him. These are a few of the things he’s posted lately.
11/16 AM: “Oh har har, no I did not rob the gas station(I did liberate the money held hostage in the till though!). I have not heard a thing from WM, had an interview at macy’s for loss prevention on monday, when I checked they are still interviewing. Had an interview today through express personnel at benchmark, doesn’t pay much (which I mean after TN gets the child support I’ll get maybe 50 bucks a week) but I should find out either later today or monday. ARGH!!!”
11/16 PM: “Just an update, I got a job! Only until the first of the year, but hey it’s something!”
11/16 late PM: “I learned I got a friggen job! And that now my ex wants all the money”
11/20 AM: “I’m as happy as I’m gonna get cause I got a job.”

I talked to him last night and he’s not mentioned his new job. I have no idea what it is, but was surprised by the post that he had applied at Walmart. I hate that he mentions me as if I am some greedy, good for nothing, gold digger. I keep trying to remind him, he SAW the divorce papers before he signed them and the support was clearly spelled out. He COULD have retained a lawyer to help him but he chose not to. He in the end SIGNED the paperwork, agreeing to the terms of the divorce and support. I refuse to feel sorry for him. The man is 28 years old, and is right where he is based on the choices he made. I didn’t make him get a credit card or two, or three and run up $20,000 of credit card debt. I didn’t make him quit his good paying job, so he cannot afford the child support. He needs to take responsibility for his daughter and do right by her. I need to stop wasting my breath reminding him of these things. It’s going in one ear and out the other.  

I hate the thought of how he probably portrays me in conversations with other people. I wonder if his ‘biker-chick’ feeds into his delusions about me. I can’t imagine her saying: “Mike, you’re wrong. You have a responsibility to pay child support. This isn’t money your ex-wife asked for, this is what she is needs to be able to care for your child full time.”
I imagine that it goes more along the lines of this: “Of course she’s a b*tch, Mike. She’s just out to get every last dime that you make. You’re right, she doesn’t need that much child support. Geesh, it’s only one kid…really, how much could a 4 year old eat?”

So I’m incredibly a little bit stressed, and a lot angry. I have just over a week left to get things together until Jeff gets here. Today is Thanksgiving and I have been adopted by my friend Beth from work. Christmas is just around the corner, and really I just feel like giving a great big “BAH HUMBUG!” to everyone I meet. I’m going back to bed now. I’ll pull the covers over my head and try and sleep through the holidays.

 See you in 2008 everyone!!

Just kidding.

A moment of silence…if you please!

Wow, it has been ages since I updated. I’m sorry everyone, I know some of you have been a tad worried about me and I appreciate that more than you will ever know.

The Sunday after my birthday was the Buddy’s race, that Hailey and I had diligently collected money for. It was a beautiful day and the walk was lovely. That Sunday was also Veteran’s day.

Before the race, Hailey and I attended mass. When we arrived, the congregation was singing America the Beautiful. It was…lovely, but that doesn’t even begin to describe it. After mass had ended, Father asked if the veterans could stand up. There must have been about 10-15 of them. Everyone started clapping and whistling. It was so moving, I was almost in tears.

That afternoon, as we lined up at the starting line, the announcer called for a moment of silence. 3,600 people bowed their heads to show respect. It was an awesome feeling, until someones cell phone started ringing. Out of the corner of my eye I could see people surreptitiously trying to get a fix on who’s phone it was. I figured the offender would silence their phone and be done with it, but no. This woman, two rows back from me had the audacity to answer the phone and begin a conversation!

I swear I should have taken that phone out of her hand and hung it up, but I only have courage like that in my head, not in my actions. I did comment rather loudly to my friend, Beth who was walking with me, that it was sad that some people couldn’t understand the meaning of a moment of silence. I also gave the woman my best evil-eye as she walked by. Somehow though, I don’t think she got the hint.

This is what I would have liked to say to that woman.

Ms. Talkie McTalkerson;

“I think sometimes that we forget there’s a war going on. I know I do. It’s almost like a bit of a shock when someone mentions it, and the light bulb turns on in my head. There are so many angry feelings about this particular war, and a lack of support for our troops that is truly disheartening. Why aren’t we crying out “Bring our boys & girls back home!” like they did during WWII? Why aren’t people marching on D.C like they did during the Korean war?

Instead, we have so called Christians protesting at the funerals of soldiers who laid down their life for us, and this country!

I understand the right to free speech, hell, I’m exercising that right at just this moment aren’t I? But those families are grieving! They have a right to that grief, without being heckled or called out, because their son/daughter stood up to do what they felt was the right thing.

We need to support our men & women in service not only while they are away, but when they come home as well. I watch my mother struggle every day to care for someone who has been damaged, not only physically, but mentally by his tour in Vietnam. My step-father has PTSD. It causes him to not be able to sleep, to be paranoid, and to get angry over trivial things. He also has health problems from the chemicals that our government spread across the jungles of Vietnam. Often he is absolutely miserable to live with. These are just some of the realities of what war can do to people, even years after they’ve come home.  

So next time, Talkie McTalkerson when you’re asked to bow your head for a moment of silence, don’t answer your cell phone when it rings. Silence it, and be glad that you have the right to have a cell phone, thanks to everyone who has fought in every war to ensure your freedom.”

I shall get off my soapbox now. Thank you for allowing me to get that off my chest. The walk was nice. I only had to carry Hailey twice this year. Beth mentioned that she found it much easier this year than last. We even shaved about 10 minutes off our race time. I think we crossed the finish line at 1:02:54! I cannot wait to do it again next year. As soon as they release the pictures, I’ll try and post a few here.

This blog is under quarrantine.

I’m sick!!! I hate to be sick. It could be worse though, and I know that. I seem to only have a sore throat and scratchy voice. I’m coughing, but it’s not a “water in the lungs” kind of thing.

I hope that I feel well enough on Wednesday to travel down to the concert I am supposed to attend!

*cough cough- hack hack*

Celebrities Sneezing?

I had to chuckle today when I was checking my blog stats. Again someone had wandered across my site using the search phrase “Celebrity Sneeze“.  Cardiogirl had commented that she couldn’t understand why people are interested seeing pictures of celebrities sneezing, or eating, or vomiting (OK I added that last one). I didn’t really think about it that way at first, but why are people fascinated by that?

In my opinion, anyone who knowingly becomes a celebrity; meaning someone who starred in a movie, recorded a song, strutted down the runway etc has opened themselves up to the scrutiny of the public eye. By signing their respective contracts, they have ensured that their name and face will be exploited as a trademark. They will be photographed constantly. The most intimate details of their personal lives will be aired for the enjoyment of all. Basically anything they say or do, will ultimately be held against them. Do I think that’s right? No. I think if people could just back off for a second and remember that celebrities are, after all, only human beings, they might relinquish their constant quest for private details. I don’t know if people obsess about celebrities to search for similarities between them or to confirm the differences.

Either way, I firmly believe that because of their social status, celebrities have a responsibility to be role models for younger generations who will be looking up to them for guidance. Britney Spears, Lindsey Lohan, Paris Hilton. All these young ladies have this wonderful opportunity to use their famous faces for good. Do we see pictures of them sitting in the library studying hard to get good grades? Or volunteering at the local homeless shelter? No, we are bombarded of videos of them binge drinking, partying, and drunk driving. I wonder if maybe when they do try to do some good, it gets over shadowed the minute they do something wrong?

Tampaxofdoom posted the video of Britney Spears at the MTV music awards. Granted I had heard a lot about it on the radio but had not seen the video footage. Her performance was less than stellar, but you know what I doubt any single person who was commenting on how lackluster her dancing was, could have done half as well. There were all kinds of snide remarks about her body not being what it used to be. Again, she still looks better than 60% of American women. Why is it that people care so much? I do not understand.

I read an article after seeing that video that said Britney was running around pantyless again that evening. Now, I’d heard snip-its about Britney’s night on the town going commando but hadn’t thought anything about it. There have been times I didn’t do my laundry and there was not a clean pair of granny panties to be found, so I went without. No big deal! I searched around online a little bit, to see if I could find the pictures that were taken of Ms. Spears. I did, and literally got an eyeful. Now here’s where it gets tricky. Although I said that celebrities should understand that they will lack privacy when they sign on the dotted line, nowhere did I say that they shouldn’t be afforded basic human decency. From the angle of several of the photos, you could tell that the photographers had gotten down onto the ground in order to get a better shot of Britney’s vagina. That is DISGUSTING! I could understand 1 picture being accidentally taken and then everyone realizing what they had just seen so they back off and let her pull herself together. Taking multiple photos from every possible angle, trying to push aside the person shielding Britney as she got out of the car, and almost laying on the ground so you can photograph up her skirt is despicable. These people should be branded for being completely unethical and magazine editors should refuse to use their work. These so called photographers aren’t professionals, they are dirty scum bags who are trying to get that $1,000,000 glory shot.

These people who are desperately searching online of pictures of celebrities sneezing, are the same people who fuel a multimillion dollar industry that is hell bent on exploiting every insignificant detail of someone’s lives. I think we need to be ashamed of ourselves. Do we not have feelings anymore? What if Ms. Spears was your wife, daughter, aunt, cousin? Would you want people treating her that way? No, probably not. Perhaps we all just need to back off, mellow out, and remember: celebrities are just people too, just like you and me.

Besides, if you really want to worship someone I think God initially signed up for that job.

Protected: The 2nd date…duh duh duhhhhhh

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The anatomy of a sneeze and other musings of a muddled mind.

As I have mentioned before, I work in an office. In the bay of cubicles across from me is the “Party Department”. This is the same department where Cute Guy™ works.  Anyway, from the sounds of things most days there isn’t really much working going on over there. Lots of laughing, chatter, and general disruptive mayhem, but work? No, not really. One of the ladies that works over there has a loud and distinct way of talking. Unfortunately she also has a loud and distinct way of sneezing. She starts off with the AHHH but the CHOO ends on what could only be described as a scream. Her nasal expulsions never fail to scare the crap out of me. One of the older, crankier ladies that works in my department always responds to Sneezy’s noisy escapades with a “Is that really neccessary?”

I started thinking about it today. If a sneeze is by definition; “an involuntary, spasmodic action”, can we really alter the way we sneeze? I know there have been times when a sneeze has caught me completely off guard and I was unable to stiffle it. On the other hand, there have been times when I’ve felt it coming and have been able to plug my nose a bit and shut my mouth to smother the sound. That has come at a physical cost to me, popping my ears loudly and hurting my throat. Is it better just to get it all out naturally or cover it up politely? Is there even etiquitte about something like this?

There has been some serious behind the scenes drama at work. I figure by the end of my career there, I will have enough material for a juicy tell all book. I can see the opening line “Names and places have been changed to protect the innocent, or not. You decide.”

 Back when there was constant coverage in the news about Paris Hilton going to jail, I’d commented on someone’s blog that I personally (read: This is only MY opinion) believe that since celebrities are such a visible presence in most people’s lives, they have a responsibility and perhaps even an obligation to present themselves as role models to society. As I was driving along to work the other day, I realized that there are other people without notoriety that have a responsibility to set a good example. I saw a police person driving in what could only be classified as a reckless manner: speeding, tailgating, changing lanes without signaling, etc. I found it hypocritical for this man/woman to drive the way they were, knowing that normally they would issue a ticket to John Doe Citizen for exhibiting the same driving behavior. Should have police officers be exempt from following basic traffic laws? Shouldn’t their driving habits provide a positive example to others? Can I be a police officer so I’m above the law too? Ok, that last question was a little sarcastic, sorry.

Oh and in exciting blog news, someone added me as a new favorite! Thank you Janedoe0.  I just found her blog recently but really enjoyed it. I’m looking forward to reading more in the future.

Sometimes its the little things…

I spent much of yesterday afternoon quite annoyed. Mostly it had to do with my ex husband, but some of it just had to do with society in general. I received a notification email yesterday from AnnualCreditReport.com that it was time for me to pull my credit report again. I hadn’t done it since before Mike and I separated so I was interested to see what was listed on there. On the whole, things don’t look too bad…except I am being dinged for things he has taken out in his own name. I have sent emails to each of the agencies asking how to reconcile this as we are now divorced and I don’t want his bad habits messing with my good credit. As it is they have my current address listed as Mike’s previous address. We haven’t lived in the same residence for over two years now and I have never put Mike’s address down as my own, so I’m not sure how they blundered that one.

The other thing I was disgusted with yesterday was the bathroom in the restaurant Hailey and I ate at yesterday. No, it wasn’t that they were unclean dear readers, I’m just sick and tired of going places with my child and they have no facilities that are child sized. Is that asking too much? To have one appropriately sized toilet and sink for toddlers and preschool age children in public restrooms would be, manna from heaven! Perhaps that’s an over exaggeration but I get tired of having to crouch down next to to the toilet to help Hailey balance precariously on the edge of the adult sized bowl. I don’t want to be down there, and I sure as  heck do not want Hailey putting her hands on the toilet seat to steady herself.

I used a “Family Friendly” restroom one time in a ToysRUs store. It had a little toilet that was close to the ground and at the edge of the grown up sink there was a steep drop down to a sink that was about the height of my knees, perfect for young children. 

I imagine many of you have had the predicament of how best to hold your child up in front of the sink while they wash their hands. Frequently I awkardly stand behind Hailey, grasp her firmly about the waist and haul her up. I then put my knee on the edge of the counter, rest her on my knee, and then lean over her to help her wash her hands. It’s uncomfortable for her, and it’s uncomfortable for me as well. A child sized vanity in the bathroom or even just a step stool would solve the “Webmiss/Hailey unchoreographed bathroom ballet”. If anyone has come up with an easier way to do this, feel free to shout out the suggestions!

On a sad note, I found out Friday that one of the ladies I work with is having some problems at home. Beth’s daughter had taken off to Oregon to straighten up her life, leaving her daughter Courtney behind to live with Grandma Beth. Courtney’s dad hasn’t really been in the picture. Beth said that she could count on one hand the number of times he’s seen his daughter in the last year. Since Daddyoftheyear (DOTY) has found himself a new girlfriend, things have changed. Jessica is very keen to play the step-mother role and encouraged DOTY to see Courtney more often. Two weeks ago Jessica picked Courtney up from daycare and Beth hasn’t seen her since. DOTY has snatched Courtney and will not tell Beth where she is. Seeing as how Beth is just the grandmother, at this point there isn’t much she can do. DOTY does have joint custody but Beth is taking him to court to see if she can take over custody from Courtney’s mother as she has basically abandoned her daughter. 

Now I’ve had Courtney come over and play many times with Hailey. She is a sweet girl, but a little slow. I can’t even imgine how terrified she must be right now, not even being able to call and talk to her Grandma Beth. I have agreed to write a notarized letter for Beth to take to the court hearing explaining how long I have known them, and that to my knowledge Beth has been the sole provider and constant presence in Courtney’s life. I am so worried for Beth that this will not work out to her advantage, although grand parents rights are becoming a recognized legal issue in most custody arrangments. Hopefully by snatching Courtney and not putting her health and mental well being first, DOTY will show the courts that he does not have Courtney’s best interests at heart.

This issue hits a little too close to home for me. It is my greatest fear that one day Mike will decide that he wants joint custody of Hailey. The arrangement as it stands now is every other weekend, and I am ok with that. Until Hailey is old enough to choose of her own volition who she would like to live with, I want to be her primary parent. Perhaps that’s selfish of me, but I love my daughter and don’t want to contemplate what her life would be like bouncing back and forth between parents every other week or every six months. Children need stability, and admittedly, I do too.

Hear ye, hear ye

Welcome to my new web-home! What do you think? So far, I’m very happy with WordPress. I’ll admit that I got a little pissy with Diaryland and jumped ship but I think it was the right choice for me.

Cardiogirl posted today about some of the kids in her neighborhood coming into her family’s yard and using her children’s sidewalk chalk. My immediate thought was “Where was the mother of those children?”. I can’t imagine letting Hailey play outside and not being right there with her. Perhaps the mother was there, and encouraged her children to play with Cardiogirl’s chalk. I guess that part will remain a mystery as there were no witnesses to this crime. The reason this struck such a cord with me you ask? Because these bratty, spoiled little children will grow up to be bratty, spoiled large adults. The mother of the aforementioned children is grooming her little heathens to be the kind of people who shoplift or commit grand theft auto. She has 4 Future Felons of America right in her own home. Heck, they might even grow up to become the people who steal other peoples lunches out of the cafeteria refrigerator!

Let’s go back to the scene of the crime: I keep my lunch in a plastic Kroger bag with a delightfully tacky hot pink post it note on it that says “Webmiss’ Lunch. Ext 1234 06-22-07″. We are told specifically that our lunches are to be clearly marked with name, extension and current date or they will be thrown away. I staple the sticky note to the outside of the bag and leave it in the refrigerator all week. I generally have a salad for lunch therefore all my accoutrements are safely tucked away inside. Today, I was looking forward to a lovely roast-beef sandwich. Maybe that’s where it all went wrong. I unfairly tempted my carnivorous coworkers with the aroma of fresh meat, instead of my usual rabbit food. Regardless, when lunch time rolled around I was nearly salivating in anticipation of my sandwich as I opened the door to the refrigerator. I noticed immediately that something was amiss.

My eyes were drawn to the handles of my Kroger bag which were gently waving at me, teasing me with their freedom. I know I tied a loose double knot in the bag when I finished my lunch on Wednesday. With dread in my heart I reached up and removed my lunch bag from the shelf. I placed it on the table, pulled open the edges and peered inside. GONE! My lovely roast-beef on honey wheat bread was gone. The empty space where my sandwich should have been, mocked me. I managed to hold back the flood of tears, but there was a noticeable lump in my throat. I knew there was no use crying over spilled milk, or in this case, a missing sandwich so I retired to my car and sought lunch elsewhere.

When I came home tonight and read Cardiogirl’s post, I just knew that other woman was grooming her children to be future sandwich stealers. I have no patience for people who cannot teach their children simple manners. Touching someone elses stuff, especially without permission, is wrong!

Lousy parents of America; wake up, shape up, and set a better example for your children!